Bottoms Up!

"We changed the specials, Jade, so can you change the board?"


"Oh, because all the waitstaff each have two broken hands and thus can't do it?" Jade retorted.


"Jade, seriously, just do it." Helena said dismissively.





Jade rolled her eyes, because that's what she does when Helena tells her what to do. As soon as she began to clean the board, Jared walked in the door.


"Hi Jade!" he said, in a tone Jade deemed somewhat overly enthusiastic. "How are you?"


"Fine," Jade grunted without looking up.


"We're cheerful today, aren't we?" he said, stung by her apparent lack of friendliness.


Jade looked up at him just long enough to roll her eyes in disapproval, then continued with what she was doing.





Jared walked into the bar and said to Helena, "My, your sister must have had a large bowl of bitchy for breakfast this morning!"


"Oh Jared, don't take it personally. It's just her teen aged angst coming out."


"Yeah, but why take it out on me?"


"Because, Jared, you have a penis."


"Clearly all men are the enemy of her universe..." he muttered as he walked off.





"Where the fuck is Jeff?" Helena said, annoyed at his perpetual tardiness.


But as she uttered the last breath of her sentence, Jeff swung his fat ass through the door. "Heyyyyhowareyaaaaaa?" he groaned as if it was one long word. "Can I have a drink, Helena?"


"What the fuck, Jeff?" Helena snapped. "It's not even 11 am! Pino will have my balls if he found out I'm letting you drink at this time." or anytime while you're working for that matter! she thought.


A look of sheer disappointment, dare I say sadness, crossed Jeff''s bloodshot, ever-hungover face.


"Ok fine," Helena reluctantly gave in, more because she was at a loss as to what to do.


Pino, one of the owners, had promised to put an add in the newspaper for a new chef, but as with most of his promises, there was little hope of it ever happening.


"I couldn't cash my check that fucking-cunt Pino gave me." Jeff ranted with one hand in his crotch and a beer in the other.


Jade sat down on the kitchen bench because she knew he'd be talking a while.


"I'm sick of working for him. There's no gratitude for all the work that I do."


But imagine how much you've cost him in alcohol by now Jade thought to herself, but she knew better than to say anything. She tuned out for a while but was rudely jerked back to reality when Jeff yelled,


"It's just bullshit!" and threw an egg at the wall.


Jade's eyes widened as she watched it running down the wall. She knew she would have to clean it up eventually if not now, so she went to the bar to "get a rag", code for "I am telling Helena about this."


Soon it was time for lunch. Jade sat down at the window table with her calamari salad and short black coffee, no sugar, as she always did. Then she got out her black journal and began to write.
"Can I join you?" Jared asked cheerfully.
"If you want," Jade replied curtly, without looking up.
"Shall I take your lack of enthusiasm as a sign that you don't want me to sit here, or your consent as a compliment?" he mused.
"Whatever you like," Jade mumbled, still looking at the page.
"What does, 'whatever you like' mean, exactly?"
"It means whatever you like," Jade was secretly amused by his persistence. "Look, what I mean to say is, you can sit here if you want. If a vacant chair is what you are looking for, then congratulations Jared, you have come to the right place." Jade said in a voice of mock enthusiasm. "But if what you want is someone who is dying to sit with you, then maybe you should move somewhere else."
Jared was taken aback by that remark, which had come out of left field and cut him to the heart. How can I be so intrigued by someone so rude? he thought.


Much to everyone's surprise, it was a busy night at the Miscellaneous Mansion. Unfortunately, Jeff was busy getting shit-faced on the Scotch, and by the time orders were coming in for meals, he was already drunk, standing at the bar, drinking with the customers.
Helena, reluctant to confront him about his behavior with one of the owners present, went with Anne, the other waitress, into the kitchen and cooked the meals.
Helena also took the oppurtunity to speak to the other owner, Ange, about the situation. He assured her something would be done about it.
Jeff poured the customers double-shots of whisky "on the house" while Jade watched in helpless horror. He started blindly into his glass, looking as though he was about to vomit.
Finally, things died down and all the was left was cleaning the pub down and locking up. Anne decided to make herself a chicken schnitzel with potato wedges. She sat down to eat while Jeff was having a drink.
"Can I have a bit of your chicken?" he asked.
"Ok," Anne replied timidly, too afraid to say no. "Shall I get you a knife and fork?"
"No, that's ok," he said. To Anne's utter disgust, he took the whole chicken fillet off her plate with his hands and bit into it.
Anne ate her wedges, not even looking at her chicken for fear she would lose her appetite.

1 Work and Crack

Helena (said like Elaina with a H) was at the train station in the city waiting to pick Jade up. They went to a coffee shop with outside tables.



"Two ice-coffees please" Helena said. When she and Jade went out, Helena always ordered, and sometimes even told Jade what to get. Not that Jade minded, because, being a restaurant manger herself, Helena knew exactly what she wanted and how to be served. It was the plus-side of her nurturing, motherly nature.



"So, how was the trip?" Helena asked as she lit a cigarette.

"Great, " Jade said as she took the lighter from her sister. "I'm so tired now."

"Did you get wasted?"

"Helena, it was New Year,"

"Did you hook up?"

"Again , it was New Year!" Jade was notoriously private, so she felt uncomfortable.

"Hey, I am just asking because you have a huge hickey on your neck!"

"Um, so what did you do for New Year?"

"Oh, well, Gavin called me from Hawaii, so we got to talk. I went out New Years' Eve with Anne and Dora for drinks."

Jade laughed. Helena was (and fuck, did she like to rub it in) a completely self-made woman. She had earned everything she owned, she made good wage and prided herself in being a lot more mature than most people her age. It was undoubtedly true, and consequently, most of her friends were older. Anne and Dora were each about 45.

"Tonight we'll stay at home and tomorrow I am

picking Gavin up from the airport. Then I will get you and we will stay the night at his place. The next day, the 8th of January, is out first day of work."

"Ok. Who is gonna work for Amalia until she comes back from Brazil?"

"Oh I didn't tell you!" Helena exclaimed with wide eyes

"No, you did not."

"Yeah. Do you remember that guy who came in for a with his mates? You know, he lives directly across the street?"

"Oh, him!"

"What's wrong with him, don't you think he's hot? I thought he would be your type!"

"I never said he's not hot. But he's rude. I was talking to Amalia and said something along the lines of Irish guys with dark hair being the sexist people ever, and he actually interrupted to say that no, I was wrong, and Indians are some of the best-looking people in the world."

"And that bothered you because...?" Helena prodded with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I wasn't talking to him, I don't even know who he is and he interrupted our conversation."

"You already don't like him and he is gonna b working every signle day. Good luck."

"Yeah well he's rude."

*****

Helena and Jade were on Gavin's doorstep. After ringing the doorbell and getting no answer, Helena called him.

"Babe, sorry to wake you up. We're outside. Can you let us in?"

A sleepy Gavin opened the door and greeted Helena with an icky smooch.

They went into the house and watched TV for a while. Gavin had his hand in Helena's lap and to Jade it was just enough cheesy affection to make things uncomfortable.

"Excuse me Gavin, do you mind if I go upstairs to use the Internet?"

"Oh, not yet Jade. Don't be silly. I'm about to roll a joint. Do you want some?"

"Okay,"

*****

Jade went to use the computer, stoned. She watched a documentary about Kurt Cobain on YouTube and saw different videos of him being interviewed, The Beatles and the Smashing Pumpkins.

What wouldn't I give to have been a teenager in the early 90's when it was all about grunge and flannel and holey jeans. I am so ashamed of my generation music ally. I think it all goes back to Green Day. I really hold it against them, because although in themselves they were not that bad a band, ecause of them we have Fallout Boy, Good Charlotte and Sum 41, which all suck, so I hold them responsible.

Around 4 am it was time for bed. Jade removed her eyeliner and went to the guestroom where she slept on the beautiful king-sized bed.

*****

In the morning Helena woke Jade and they went outside for a cigarette and downloaded music, and then it was time to get ready for work. Jade showered first, beause her make up took longer.

She drew her eyebows, put on her winged eyeliner with a liquid eyeliner pen and lashings of mascara.

Helena's was more natural. She filled in her eyebrows, added a touch of blush to her cheekbones and wore a natural shade of lipstick. "How do you get your eyeborws so perfectly Jade?"

"I just pluck the strays whenever they show up."

"I don't have time for that,"

"Yet, you want perfect eyebrows..." Jade rolled her eyes.

*****

The Miscellaneous Mansion was a pub and for those who don't know what pubs are, it's a casual bar where cheap meals are sold. There was also a more fine-dining side with white tablecloths. Allegedly, the place was once very busy, popular and had an excellent rputation for some of the finest seafood in the city. You would never have guessed it by the way it was now though. New owners had been it's downfall, and the place often went through a whole lunch service without selling a single meal in either the bar or te restaurant.

Helena opened the restaurant door and turned off the alarm then headed to the coffee machine.

"Jade what are you having?" she called over to her sister, who was by now sitting at the staff table.

"An epresso, thanks."

"With sugar?"

"No," Jade replied.

It was a bit of a ritual for Jade to contemplate life over coffee and a cigarette. One was never as good without the other.

The bar door swung open and a very tall, very large unkempt man walked in. It was Jeff, the chef (sorry about the rhyme--there is just no other way to say it.) Jeff was 27, but he looked closer to 35 because his long-time addiction to alcohal had taken its toll on his face. He had large, bloodshot blue eyes and pale, pasty skin. There was something unpleasant about him, or perhaps many things, a few of them being that his breath constantly smelled of whisky, his long blond ponytail was always greasy and rather than his chef's pants and jacket, he preffered tracksuit pants that revealed three inches of his buttcrack and thin T-shirts that did little to hide his offensively large manboobs.

"Hey Helena, Jade," He said with a sleepy nod.

"Jeff! How are you?" Helena asked cheerfully.

"Alright I guess, a little hungover."

"Sorry to hear it. Would you like a coffee?"

"Sure, I'll have a latte with one sugar, thanks."

Jade decided to go to the petrol station across the road and buy some credit for her phone.

When she returned, she saw a young man standing behind the bar, and she knew it was the new worker. Helena and Jeff must have already started... She looked him over from a distance. His hair was a very dark brown, his skin was a very light shade of olive and he had very piercing eyes. Holy shit she thought to herself.

"Hi, I'm Jared." he said

"Hi Jared" she said awkwardly.

"And what's your name?" he asked with an amused grin.

"Oh, sorry, um, it's Jade."

"Pleased to meet you Jade," he said, shaking he hand.

"So Jared, how old are you?"

"23, and yourself?"

"17"

There was a bit of a silence and the Jade said, "Well, I should get to work now."

Jeff was cutting steaks at the kitchen bench and asked Jade if she wold mind to light the stove.

"Got a lighter?" she asked him.

"In my pocket," he said.

Jade had just started working here and she couldn't say she didn't want to reach into his filthy pocket, so she braced herself. She knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

Helena the came into the kitchen. "How are you my little worker ant?"

"Fine," Jade mumbled with a roll of her eyes. She hated when Helena addresse her that way. It's so patronizing she thought.

"Jeff, do you mind if I borrow her to go to the supermarket to get some soft drinks?"

"Go for it," Jeff replied.

Going to the store for soft drinks was something Jade normally detested, and today was no exception. Walking in the sun with bags so heavy your arms might break off you shoulders, or worse yet, the bags might break under the weight or their contents, weirdly, is not my idea of of fun.

"Jared will go with you," Helena said.

Jade went into the bar where she saw Jared getting $50 out of the till.

"Let's go," he said as he held the bar door for Jade, and she rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, would you mind to carry this?" he asked, waving the money. "I don't want to lose it,"

"What make you think I won't lose it?" Jade countered, but she took it and put it in her blazer pocket anyway.

They walked passed a laneway and Jared said, "If we go through the laneway it's faster,"

"It actually makes no difference, but yeah..." Jade said as she lit a cigarette. "Would you like one?"

"No thank you, I don't smoke and you shouldn't either."

She chose to ignore that remark since she wanted to be polite and she found it too dumb to be worthy of a proper rebuttal anyway.

"So, you like Nirvana?"

"I do, yes, they're my favourite band. How did you know?"

"Um, you're wearing a Nirvana T-shirt and yo mentioned them last time when we met."

"Yeah. Did we meet exactly, or did we just happen to be at the bar at the same time?"

"Well, I did introduce you my name,"

"Then how did you not know mine today?" Jade wanted it to be that they had not met and save herself the embarassment of forgetting his name.

"No, you didn't tell me,"

"Sorry, I am bad with names," she explained.

"Anyway, about Nirvana, what would you say is their best album?"

"I think Incesticide, but most people say In Utero is better,"

"Really?" Jared raised his eyebrows. "I quite like the unplugged album. Oh Me is a vey good song,"

"Yeah Nirvana's cover is better than the orginal."

"It is, and The Man Who Sold the World is another one they covered very well. It may even be their best song,"

"I know it's my favourite right now. And what kind of music do you like?"

"Queens of the Stone Age are probably my favourite at the moment,"

The talk was all about music all the way there and all the way back. Jared and Jade had similar tastes and shared an appreciation for classics such as the Beatles, The Doors and Led Zeppelin.

It was one of those uneventful lunches and so the kitchen closed early and the staff ordered meals for themselves. Jade sat at a table by the window with her calamari salad and she saw Jared approaching. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"Go ahead,"

Jared commented on Jade's American accent and she explained she and Helena had grown up in Japan.

"You're just like this girl I knew in Brisbane. Her family is overseas too,"

Jade could tell by the way his eyes changed when he mentioned her, that he had felt for her once. Being likened to an old flame felt a bit odd, seeing as they had just met, but she didn't know what his intentions were. What she did know, though, was that work was gonna be a lot more entertaining with a hot guy around.

OK

Ok, guys I wrote the first page of the (boring) story, which is still Untitled. I couldn't get it to sit at the top for some reason, so if you want to read it, scroll down and wait till you see a post called "The Grind".

Don't be mean with your comments, I think it sucks too.

Here's A Thought (Not Really)

OK, here's something I realized the other night. A woman's heart can be likened to a man's balls; they want you to touch it, but gently, as they are very very sensitive and not that sexy either.

I realize that what I just said does not make a whole lot of sense, but I just don't like balls a great deal. I prefer to pretend that they are not there (kind of like guys seem to pretend you--and they-- are void of emotions.)

Also, my uncle and aunt just had their 25 years of marriage anniversy. Yeah I know, they deserve to be congratulated. They were celevrating and my uncle said, during a speech, something that hinted what would be "on the menu" for his wife that night. I , his niece, and all my cousins, his kids, had to hear it. Yuk. Another thing I like to pretend is that all people over the age of... 38... do not have sex. I know it isn't true, but I still like to think so, and they probably like turning a blind eye to me, and the rest of the younger genereation and the fact that some of us do have sex, or whatever.

All This Stuff

Soemone sent me this sheet full of very deep questions, which I had trouble answering because they freak me out because they do.

Something you say a lot that you tend to regret "Yes,", "No," and "No thank you."


The one thing you said that you regret the most "If it suits you"

And the least? "I'm not asking you to change"

Is there anyone outside your personal family that you actually love? A few

Have ever been in love? Not by my definition of the term, no. And if I do fall in love, I want it to be very special, so I try to use the term sparingly.

Have you ever had a broken heart? Of course.

Would you rather a broken heart or a broken wrist? Wrist.

Have you ever broken someone's heart? Oh he would tell you so, but he's lying, because he broke his own heart by becoming attracted to me when I tried to stop him.

What are you most afraid of? Being vulnerable, being rejected and not being there.

What do you want the most? Success. I should add here, before I sound callous and unfeeling, that my idea of success is having meaningful friendships and a job that pays enough to give me a comfortable lifestyle, but that I also enjoy and am good at.

Have ever loved someone so much that it made you cry? No

What's the best thing a man could do to make you happy? I don't know... it matters who the man is.

And the worst thing he could do? Snoop through my things or phone. It doesn't matter if it's my cousin, my dad, my brother, a boyfriend. It's wrong and I will never trust them again.

Would you dump someone if they went through your phone/emails? Absolutely

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do not.

Is there a "one" for everyone? No.

Is being in love overrated? I am not sure. I think a lot of poeple say that they are in love, when they really just have a crush, but that makes crushes overrate, not being in love. But then again, some people are not content until they are in love, or they feel like there life is not complete until they are in love with someone. In the case of being in love being used as a way of measuring success, then I would have to say that, yeah, it might be a bit overrated.

Is sex overrated? Now, sex is!

When you realize you love someone, do you tell them? Not usually. I have only loved one person in "that" way, and I never told him.

Are you in love with one of your friends? Yes and like I said I never told him, and to this day, I believe he does not know.

Do you want do find The One? I am not sure. Honestly, I am afraid that when I find him if I ever do, that I am going to throw caution into the wind and lose control over my emtions and be truly vulnerable. Maybe I don't

Postponement

Hi again Everyone,
The story will not start as soon as I expected. It will be boring and writing it is a headache.

1 The Grind

Jade had spent the Christmas holidays with her cousin Jenny and some of their friends. They went boating, swimming and soaked up the sun. New Year's Eve was a blast. They partied, smoked it up, drank too much, and slept off their hangovers.

She had hooked up in a yacht on the lakeside with one of the guys, Nick, who planned to join the army. There seemed to be a mutual understanding that it was what it was and they would never see eachother again. It was out of character for Jade, but then again, it was New Year, and she was not one to try to make something out of nothing.

On the way to her uncle and aunt's house, Jenny kept insisting that Jade tell her where she had gotten the hickey on her neck.

"It's the 2nd of January, I don't remember." she said lamely

"That's not an answer," Jenny persisted.

"It's a 2nd-of-January answer."

Jenny's Dad put on a mix of his favourite songs. Musically, his taste was not that bad--he liked Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and the Eagles, all the old school stuff. Secretly, Jade had always looked fondly upon previous generations, musically and otherwise. Of course, she wasn't there, but maybe that's what she found so appealing about it.

The world is just getting worse all the time, and no one seems to understand that. Like those ignorant people who say every day is getting better--are they naive, or are they just not willing to admit that things are alwas getting harder? Actually, it's also possible that they have found a secret that I don't know and every day really does improve their life.



People mostly knew Jade as a wild, hard-partying, angst-ridden teenager, but what only those close to her knew was that she thought a lot about everything. There were so many unanswered questions she had about life, such as "What am I on this earth to do?", "Can one person really change the world?" and "How come I don't look like Kate Moss?" Before the answer came to her regarding any of these questions, the car pulled up in her Aunt's driveway and came to a stop.

The country house smelled of barbecue and loud laughter could be heard coming from inside the house. It was Jenny's sister Adriana's 20th birthday and she had invited some friends over for a small-scale party.

"How are ya, gorgeous?" Adriana said, hugging Jade. "This is my boyfriend, Drew."

Drew was tall, heavy-set, pasty-skinned and and small, dark eyes and hair. He looked like a country thug.

Then there was Benny, Drew's best mate, and his girlfriend Jay. He was a chubby brown-haired guy and she was a tanned, blonde, blue-eyed knockout. They were a vulgar bunch after a few beers, and not surprisingly, Jade fit right in.

"I heard anal sex is really big in Japan," Jay remarked.

"Iwouldn't know," Jade replied. "Personally, I would never do it."

"Aw why not?" Drew said jokingly. "What good's a chick who won't take it up the backdoor?"

"Well, it's just not natural, it's a dirty practice."

"You can shower though!" Benny chimed in.

"But it's never clean enough. I mean, imagine you were doing your function and it crawled back up, you know? It can't feel good!"

The guys laughed boistrously, but the girls didn't.

There was a pause in the conversation, and Jade's grandmother aproached and said, "Jade, how are you, beautiful girl?"

"I'm good, Nonna, thank you,"

"Come on bella, have something to eat before it gets cold. Come on children." She said to the group as she turned to leave.

Drew shook his head and said, "Just how is it that you can be so wild while your grandmother thinks your some kind of a saint?"

"I never thought about it," Jade replied.

*****

Jade and her cousins had had a pleasant time together, but now it was time to go back to work, back to the city. Jenny and Adriana's oldest brother Christopher generously offered to drive her to the station.

A two-hour train ride and one's night's sleep away, and it would be back to the grind.

Thanks Guys

Hi everyone,

First of all I would like make some excuses for not posting.

I was out of a job and had to look for another (Job found. Job sucks.) It was a hard choice between sticking it out and ending up sleeping in the street, but since adulthood is about doing the things we know we have to (and is thus the reason I don't want to grow up), I believe I have made the right choice. I am also currently looking for a job I enjoy more.

And there is another reason that I am not ready to make public just yet. (But I may tell some of you girls privately).

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone who did give an opinion about the story, and would like to announce that it will be really boring, but I decided to go ahead with it, since I am guessing some of you may not have much better to do with your time. (I'm joking.) The first posting will be on Sunday, which means I have to think of something better to call it. (I am thinking about going with "Untitled")

And as Patty requested, it will be twice weekly, provided I never end up with two broken hands or a good excuse.

Opinions Please

What would everybody think if I wrote a story divided into page-length chapters and posted it weekly/twice weekly?

Opions carrying weight: Mary Jane, Amanda, Christian, Kenny, Sunny, Patty. (Since they are the only people who I know for a fact read my blog on a regular basis.)

The Underrated Singledom

I am sick and tired of people asking me asking me if I have a boyfriend. And I am sick of hearing their reactions when I say no.

"How come?????"

That's a bit easy. I am 17. The focus in my life is actually on finding out what I am good at and developing talents that will give me a good career.

"Well, I hope you find the right guy soon."

Are you serious? What do people hope that for? "Find a boyfriend or die" has never been my motto, and the "better dead than single" kind of attitude doesn't appeal to me at all either.
I know a lot of girls with boyfriends. They all have something I don't have, which is a boyfriend. But I have something they don't have, which is freedom. I can sleep wherever I like whenever I like, I can call whoever and give whoever my number, I don't need to worry about hating his mates and their beer-breath, I can buy what I want and go shopping without a doofus who hates shopping on my arm and when I dye my hair, or pierce a body part, I am not offending anyone and I don't need their permission.

But for some reason, if I ever share this opinion with these people they look at me, shocked and say

'But don't you think you would like the company?"

No. I don't. I have friends. They don't expect me to cook for them, return their calls or do things with the lights off--or on--if I don't want to.

And all these teen aged single girls that feel like an incomplete person unless they are in a relationship are missing the point. Guys that want a girlfriends to settle with a off-putting in my eyes. There is nothing sexy about and Emotional Desperado.

It almost pains me when I am attracted to someone, especially when they are attracted to me also. I have a full-blown commitment phobia and being attracted to someone doesn't mean that I am ready to say "Let's hold hands and have a relationship." It could just be because I am young. Or maybe I just haven't met a good candidate yet.

Prince Charming is a cheesy man in my mind, and if I ever met him, I think I will give him to one of my friends for Christmas. While I am happy for all the smug couples couples who consider themselves lucky to "get to" sleep with the same man forever and ever, rather than marry an accountant or journalist who cheats with the secretary at work, buy a house with a picket fence and have 2.5 children and a , I would prefer to live alone with no one to answer to but a car and a cat.

This isn't to say I will never get married, because that would be a silly thing to say. We do all make mistakes, after all. But until I meet a James Dean look-alike knight in shining Armani, I think will stay single and happy.

Photos

Dad and Jodi
Dad is photo-obsessed. He has to take a photo of every single little thing. If you look bad in a photo, Dad will just keep it anyway. And he won't try for a better shot.

Me and Nadia

Me Jodi and Zio

Blah Blah Blah

Etc.

-Do you like the music your family listens to?
Sharon, Ang, and I all have similar music tastes. Mine is better No not at all. Jodi and Moofy's musical tastes are horrible in my ears and I don't even know what Christian likes. I do know that he would sing any song he understood the lyrics to.
-Is music a big part of your life?
Massive Massive
-Last song you sang out loud?
The World I Know with David Cook while watching American Idol! Read My Mind... Haha
-Do you play air guitar when jamming out?
Yup. Good 'ol Niki style! Nyahahaha! No but maybe after four beers
-Who was your 1st favorite band as a kid?
Well, Avril, of course. but Band wise...BLINK 182!!! (I was just trying to be cool like Ang) I think the Beatles
-Ever had a song that make you think of an ex?
Uh...no Even when I liked someone and they felt the same and we did "things" and "that thing" if you will, I have never called a man/boy-who-thinks-he-is-a-man a boyfriend and so I have no exes, and I hope I still won't in 2 years' time. But yes, songs have reminded me of stupid men.
-Do you know your parents wedding song?
Probably one of Dad's songs. They never had a wedding. No
-What cd is in your car cd player?
Sharon loves Alanis Morsetti...thats about it. One Republic (Jodi likes)
-When was the last time you burned a music cd?
The last time...about 3 years ago. When I had to secretly listen to Breaking Benjamin and tell everyone it was downloaded music from Audio Linkup (I;ve never even been to that site) Hahaha, Mary Jane! Did you do that? Classic. I think I burned my last CD around a year ago. (Now Rod Shane and Sean burn them)
-Do you sing in the shower?
I shout out chorus' of the Killers and Coldplay. I sing the Killers too! But only if I know Jodi will hear
-Have you ever sung in front of an audience?
Yeah...during those god aweful Christmas performances. Does Karaoke also count? Yes, and I was pissed drunk and it was terrible.
-Have you ever been the singer while playing Rock Band?
I LOVE ROCK BAND!!! but no, I'm always the Lead guitarist. ?
-What is your mom's favorite genre of music?
Classical music. Thats why she's smart Ah she liked dance
-What is your favorite song by the Beatles?
I have soooo many : Strawberry Fields are Forver, Across the Universe, Girl, Hey Jude, all the songs on Abbey Road...I like all the Beatles songs. Hey Jude, Don't Let Me Down, Strawberry Fields Forever, Happiness Is a Warm Gun, Lucy In the Sky, She Loves You, As My Guitar Gently Weeps... and I like them all.
-Do you your ticket stubs from concerts?????
I've never been to a real concert. I should try that next time.
-How many songs do you have on your iPod?
Theres only 2g on my shuffle so....about 400 I use one of Jodi's iPods and it has about 500 songs and I hate maybe 484 of them.
-Does the music you listen to change with your moods?
Yeah, mostly I just listen to music based on my mood. (i.e. Disturbed and Chevelle when I'm angry) Not so much. Normally I like music because it matches all my moods...
-What are your favorite lyrics from a song?
"Look at the Stars, see how they shine for you/And everything you do/Yeah, they were all yellow...For you I bleed myself dry!!!!" Oh there are lot.
"These days you don't mean dick to me" and "I fuck myself in the head with stupid men" by Amy Winehouse
And anything Beatles
Oh and the lyrics to Lithium by Nirvana

-Do you pay for your songs or steal them?
Does anyone really go and buy music? even on iTunes? Illegal downloading is the only thing I know how do to,. Does not paying make it automatically illegal? I have never paid for a song? I don't even know hoe
-What kind of iPod do you own?
iPod shuffle Jodi's
-If not, what kind of iPod would you like to own?
Nano Nano
-Define the term: Boyband?
cute little boys that dance around and pretend to sing. i love them. Little men that should be gagged and caged.
-What's the farthest you've traveled to go to a concert?
I've never ben to a goddamn concert! Never been to a concert.
-Do your friends listen to the same music you do?
No. definately not. My cousin Chook does, and Nadia likes Nirvana. Rod Shane and Sean do. Cat likes the Killers. Amanda likes Emo music or something...
-Do you watch American Idol?
I just watch the performances of the contestants I like. Like David Cook. nehehehe No and I wanted the other David to win
-Can you play an instrument?
I tell everyone I can but I actually cant. shhh... No
-Ever sing kareoke?
I love karaoke! Yes of course, it's fun
-Have you ever been to a concert you did not enjoy?
Ive never been to a motherfucking concert! although, Coldplay's going to be playing in Westwood soon...I should get my ass down there! No, and that's the only good thing about never having been to one
-Have you been to a musical?
The hills are alive with the Sound of Music! No obviously... I am still alive.
Who is better:


Nsync or Backstreet Boys?
N'sync!!! They could sing and DANCE!!! plus they had Joey the Fatone! The Backstreet Boys (I would also rather die of food poisoning than freeze to death)
-John Mayer or Jack Johnson?
Jack Johnson!! Jack Johnson
-Garth Brooks or George Strait?
Really? is there really a difference? I say Viva la Billy Ray Cyrus!!!
-Fall Out Boy or Panic! At the Disco?
PANIC AT THE DISCO!!! yipeeee! Panic! At the Disco... "Your eyes are the size of the moon" haha
-Elvis or The Beatles?
The Beatles are the shit! The Beatles, they are my second favourite band
-Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake?
How can you make me choose?? I say Britney the Pop princess! I don't care for the "music" of either, but kind of like Brit
-Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus?
Jonas Brothers are cute... Oh none....
-Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston?
Mariah's a man and Whitney is...is she still alive? Mariah is hotter, Whitney looks bad with her mouth wide open and it's a good thing Celine Dion is not here because she sounds like a grand piano...

This or that:

Country or Rock?
ROCK! Rock
Rock or Rap?
ROCK! Rock
Emo or Punk?
uhhh...I thot the whole arguement was that emo isnt really a genre of music...it was a way of life. who am I kidding?? Punk! Not fond of either
Oldies or Country?
The older they get the better. I guess the Beatles and Led Zep are Oldies now.
Latino or Disco?
Disco disco yaya!!! Goooo Jhn Travolta!! Can't decide but latin guitar is ok...
Old Skool or New School?
Old Skool!!!!
Old School

Random Whatever

Patty said she loves me!

Did she ever say that to you?


Love you too Patty

If Anonymous Told You To Jump Off A Bridge...

The reason I write I blog is so that my close friends and family can keep up to date on how I am doing without me having to call them write them all individual emails. I know they look at my posts from time to time, and some of them comment.

Anonymous comments sometimes too. Sometimes Anonymous is really just Lazy, and has a fine thing to say but can't be bothered letting me know who is saying it. But there are also times when someone wants to say something really mean, cutting, insulting or rude, usually something they would never say to anyone in person. But they think it's alright to say on the Internet, as Anonymous. Sometimes I have an idea of who these Anonymouses are, and sometimes I don't.

But I know what kind of person they are letting themself become by saying such things.

Thankfully, I don't care what people think of me as much as I used to. Before, feeling ugly and looking ugly were a part of my everyday life and feeling like I had nothing offer was so normal to me I hardly knew the difference; when someone told me something mean, I just believed it, but not anymore.

Now, normally I delete their comments and go on with my day without thinking about it. Dwelling on the negative is not someone I like doing a lot, because it's almost always unproductive.

But I do think what these people do is wrong.

Anonymous told me to jump off a bridge. (Don't laugh, someone actually said that.)

Someone write me on Hi5 saying, "u have serious issues...i would go to rehab or mental institution to get help if i were u."

Another person said I am too unattractive to deserve a good sexual performance.

Somebody also said, "u r such a piece of shit i wonder wut keeps u goin hahahahaha".

People you know who you are.

I sometimes wonder what kind of satisfaction it brings them to say these kinds of things. I know I am not the only person who has to hear them.

As far as being unattractive, well, I think I am just average, and sometimes I wish I looked better. But then again, there are a lot of average people out there, and I doubt that I am the only girl in the world who sometimes wishes she was more attractive. But I also know that there is more to life than the physical appearance, and while you can change your looks that much, everyone can be a good person.

Nobody is a piece of shit and everyone has something to offer people. Even these people I am talking about.

But really, words have an effect on people, and I know that I have said my share on mean/rude/terrible things. At the time they sometimes seemed funny, but after going through things in my own life, and being on the receiving end of a bit of bullshit, I regret that I said them. Gossiping never made me better than the person I was gossiping about, and in hindsight making someone else feel like shit never made me feel better.

Losing someone close to you teaches you the value of life, and that it's better not to waste it tearing other people down, and it's better not to assume that you are of no value. You don't know how much you mean to the people that love you.

It's one thing to say something you regret by mistake, and no one is perfect, but I think deep inside, even these Anonymouses know what they are doing is wrong, and they might be damaging their own self esteem more than anyone else's.

Nowadays I try not to say anything that I don't mean. I don't believe my life has been neccessarily harder than anyone else's, but it's not easy. People are insecure enough without me adding to it. People go through enough in their lives without me dragging them through the mud. I am never going to know what somebody else is going through, but I don't want to make it any worse. If anything, I want to make it better.

I don't hate any of these people. One of them even used to be my friend. But I do hate what they are doing, and I hate what it can do to the people they say them to. And I hate that I have been guilty of it too. I just want it to stop.

A Few About Sex

"The first global analysis of sex-behavior data shows no evidence of a trend toward youthful promiscuity." --Web MD Sexual Health Center

The average Australian erect penis is 15cm (aprox. 5.9 inches) long. This is not massive-massive, obviously. I personally believe that size matters, but someone with an average-sized piece of machienery can do the job just fine, so long as he knows how to work it. Might not be so likely with Aussie men, since one quarter of the women considered sex to be painful or boring. Yeah... and imgaine how the YOUNG women feel!

But then, these women must be kind or something, because one in five men under 20 is in a steady relationship.

Aussies supposedly have more sex in the park than any other countries do.

Also, the average man between 17 and 25 is finished within 4.8 mintues. (Probably longer if drunk)

Really fantastic!

James Dean

I once loved a man who looked exactly like James Dean

He was so goodlooking if you know what I mean

He broke my heart and it makes me wanna cry

But he's so goodlooking I think I'm gonna die

He is so jaw-dropping

He is so heart-stopping

It's like finding your dream house but you can't afford it

I was much better off when I ignored it

He's always on my mind

I can sense it when he lies

I look past what's doing

At what he's saying with his eyes

Do you guys think James Dean is even hot? Just wondering... I am so in love with him right now.

James Dean

What If We Had A Straight White Male President?

In the world today, it seems that the farther from tradition your point of view is, the better it must be. Left-wing is the new right-wing and to disagree is often considered either discriminatory or politically incorrect.

I walked into a bookstore on my break from work. It was quiet since there were only 3 or 4 other customers. As I browsed I noticed some tasteful nude calenders and postcards. But some were not so tasteful. All the books had titles like "How To Play It Straight--Or Not", "Coming Out Of the Closet" and "How To Love Your Gay Brother."
It would have been nice in there were any books on themes that interested me, so I asked the girl behind the counter, "Um, gay the theme of this bookstore?" She said, "Yeah, queer." I started heading toward the door and she raised her eyebrows at me as if to say, "Do you have a problem with that?" I tried to smile and not sound rude when I replied, "Well, I'm straight."
Good thing I was leaving because the other customers were giving me weird looks and it wasn't like I wanted to offend them in their gay bookstore.
As a disclaimer, I am not homophobic, and I don't look down on gay people or desire to hurt or offend them. I actually know some gay men who are nice, good people. It's up to them, and that's that. The only people who bother me are the ones that shove their sexuality in my face and get overly defensive about what really should be a private matter.
But if there had been a whole bookstore dedicated to the benefits of being heterosexual, would that be alright with the gay population? Or is it now a case of discrimination against the majority?
Another example is the Black Reel Awards, better known as the Black Awards, which began in 200o and were designed "to annually recognize and celebrate the achievements of black people in feature". That is good and well, but what if there had been a "White Awards"?
Of course, it is arguable that black people have been overall subject to more racial discrimination than whites have. But is this kind of logic promoting racial equality or making it more unachievable?

An experiment was done in Australia where a Chinese imigrant and a white Australian went to the same Chinese computer dealer with identical laptops for an identical problem. The white man paid 7 times what the Chinese man paid. The conclusion was that imigrants are in fact more likely to charge white people a higher price, just for being white. It was dubbed as reverse descrimination.

American women did not have the constitutional right to vote until the year 1920. The New Zealanders were ahead and won the right in 1893. Australians in 1902, Finland in 1906 and the French women waited until 1944. Male chauvinism been prevailant in many societies for centuries and has only changed significantly in the past 200 or so years. It is generally agreed that both sexes are equal and should be treated equal, but I was sometimes wondered if what some Women's Rights activists want is to be equal to men, or to be surperior.

The world has changed an awful lot, especially over the course of the 20th century. Some things have been good changes, like granting women the right to vote, abolishing slavery and what. But while the good aspects of these changes are celebrated, is anyone looking at how beneficial to society some others actually are?

Let's take a woman's right to have an abortion for instance. It's usually seen as a good thing, but what has it done to the demographics in some 1st world countries? In Japan 20 years from now, there will be so many people over the age of 65 that the working population will have no way to support them, and this will be the case all over the 1st world sooner or later.

I also think that some people are more concerned about having a woman president or a black president for the first time than they are about electing someone who does the job well. If the best candidate really is a woman, or a black man, that is fantastic, but the best person for the job should be more important than the headlines. I mean, Margaret Thatcher happened ages ago, and no one says much about that.
It's clearly a matter of pride for Hilary Clinton, who has even began to refer to herself as Hilary Rodham Clinton lately. At the same time, people are more impressed with politicians who appear to have good marriages. As if we haven't noticed that sneaky Rodham between Hilary and Clinton lately. And no one could possible be fool enough to believe that, in spite of Monica Lewinsky and everything, they have a really good marriage!

Anyway, this post was just a vent about how ironic everything is getting lately. I am not saying my point of view is really accurate, or even worded very well, what do you think?

Never Say I Love You

OK, not never. There are heaps of appropriate times to say it.

But I kind of wanted to make a point about when is NOT the right time.

WHEN YOU DON'T MEAN IT!

If you are joking, and you say to a friend, "I love you." you need to somehow indicate that it's a joke, by like laughing or something.

And don't tell your girlfriend you love her if you really don't. Her expectations get that much higher when you say the words.

It might not mean much to you, but you never know how much what you say will mean to someone else.

Amanda's blog has all these boring questionaires on it that no one really reads except me, cuz I love her. But they are good to fill in, and I love her answers.
Have you...Sung someone to sleep? I've taken care of many a toddler in my time. That's the extent of it. You'll have no running-hands-through-lover's-hair-whilst-crooning-a-self-composed-lullaby from me!! Mwaha! No
Been to a psychiatrist? No. But there's always a first for everything. No
Baked a cake without a recipe? Once. I made a note never to do it again, too. No, I hate cooking.
Recorded your voice? A couple times. I hope to this day that any and all copies manage to miraculously erase themselves, but alas, that may be too much to hope for... No, and I would never do it.
Written a novel? Writing one at the moment. It's quite an exciting business. I have started to write several, but I didn't love any of the storylines enough to finish them, except one. And I had to stop that one too, because it got too hard. It's fun to do. And Amanda, when you are done, make sure you show me your novel!
Had a paying job? Yes, thank Heavens. How else would I feed my addiction to coke? (don't worry... I mean the fizzy brown stuff) Yes.
Lost a loved-one? Sister, friend. Other family members I didn't know too well. My mom.
Been in a band? Sort of... No
Danced in front of people? Unfortunately for them, yes. I fancied myself a dancer once, a long time ago. Maybe once or twice when I was drunk... I can't remember, thank God.
Wanted children? Briefly, whilst holding a friend's baby. Then it threw up in my face and I decided that child-rearing wasn't for me. No, and to be honest, I can't think of anything I would like less than to get pregnant. One "Anonymous" said to me that being pregnant is not the end of the world, but that is a personal decision, and in my mind, it pretty much is.
Been to a concert? Oh, SO many. Yes...
Cried yourself to sleep? Copiously. Yes, it's terrible!
Met someone famous? Only Japanese celebrities, sad to say. I haven't started my stalking career officially yet. Not really really famous
Wanted to be famous? I still do. It's a genetic disease thing. Never! I really appreciate my privacy. I am so glad that not so many people care about what I do everyday. God watches me, and even that seems like too much sometimes.
Used a rhyming dictionary? Yes, and was heartily ashamed afterwards. I can rhyme well enough without one. I didn't even know those exist...but now I want to try to use one!
Drew/painted a piece of art to completion? I hate art. With a passion. Mainly because I'm not artistic in the slightest. So many times, I love art.
Streaked? YES, and loved every minute. I am such a closet nudist. No, and I would never do it! Nudity bothers me. I prefer sex clothes on, and that is not only because of what I don't want them to see, but also what I don't want to see. Just because someone is the hottest thing since the sun doesn't mean they need to shock you with their nakedness. Only exception would be Amanda.
Gone somewhere deliberately in the hopes of running into someone? I do it all the time. I'm a loser- I have an excuse! Not that I can remember specifically.
Felt so incapable of expressing love that you cried? Not really. I'm kind of good at expressing things. Yes. Things got so uncomfortable that I finally made an effort to tell the person. It was so embarassing, it was like dying, only knowing that you will only be alive the next day.
Written a song? Yes. When did you write a song? And my answer is no!
Climbed a mountain? Too many. Yes. Sometimes even carrying boxes.
Wished you were the opposite gender? During my pre-teen stages I dressed, acted, talked, and looked like a little boy, out of choice. I'm glad to say I've fully recovered now. Of course! Boys have it so much better.
Stayed up all night? Yes. Yes, sometimes it was because I couldn't sleep, which was bad. But then again, sometimes it was because I was having too much fun to sleep. Good times.
Been heartbroken? Naw. I'm a toughie. hehe... yeah... Yes. People have no idea how bad a broken heart is, because they always associate it with romance. My heart has never been broken in that way, even though one time one guy hurt me a bit... haha.
Been in love with someone who had no idea? They probably had no idea for about two days before it was glaringly obvious. I have never been in love.
Do you...Stop reading books halfway through? I've been doing that more recently. I need to stop. Yes! I don't believe in finishing anything just because I started it.
Sleep during movies? Not once. Yes. It's like when you stop reading a book halfway through.
Cry during movies? I cried during "Armageddon" yesterday. I'm very emo. No.
Talk a lot? When comfortable with the situation. Matters with who, and when, and what about.
Sleep better alone? Definitely. YES! God, yes!
Own a pair of glasses? Sunglasses, yes. Yes, and it always surprised people because I don't wear them. And I own a lot of sunnies too.
Pinch pennies? All my life. It's the Jew in me. Of course.
Quickly lose interest in projects? Ashamedly quickly. Unless it's something I HAVE to do. Sometimes
Misplace things? Constantly. Even more than my boss, and that's saying something. Sometimes
Buy stationery before you need it? I never buy the stuff. Yes
Love math? Adore it. When I understand it. Same as Amanda
Know a lot of random facts? I know more trivia than important facts. Yes. Do you know the 3 youngest men to be elected president of the US? I do!
Do romantic, thoughtful things for the people you love? Thoughtful, yes. Screw romantic. No I never even do that!
Have difficulty getting rid of things you don't use? I'm teaching myself that junk isn't allimportant. I learn slowly. Not at all. I consider it my right to get rid of all the things in my life that I do not absolutely love, be it stuff or anything else.
Notice and remember little things about people? If they're worth remembering. Same as Amanda
Prefer wine to beer? I actually dislike both. Beer!
Do an accent? You should hear my Japanese accent. Perfection. Same as Amanda. I do a good Uncle Gideon. (I love you Uncle Gideon!)
Enjoy the spotlight? Pretend to dislike it, secretly adore it. Not so much.
Love board games? Not particularly. Not so much.
Buy your own shampoo or toothpaste? No. Yes of course. The maid isn't gonna do it.
Wish people would stop talking about you? Of course. What a silly question. That IS a silly question!
Keep a journal? Since I was 5 years old. Same as Amanda... ish.
Enjoy exotic foods? Yeah, my mom's Chinese. Go figure. Yes. Have you ever eaten a whole lemon, baked?
Cook elaborately for yourself? When I'm in the mood. No way. I hate cooking
Have expensive taste? Not really. When I'm in the mood.
Write on yourself? It's addictive. Yes, I do it really really bad.
Stay up late? My eventual killer will undoubtedly be my enormous sleepdebt. Same as Amanda. I have made more bad choices at 3 am than any other time. Don't read into that statement too much.
Absolutely love your perfume/cologne or use it because you have it? Meh to perfumes. Scented deoderant for me. Yes, I only keep things that I love, remember?
Wish you could be someplace else? The Afterlife, perhaps? Yes, of course.
Miss people? Always. Always.
Organize to a fault? Critically. Yes, I really plan my life, and things always go according to what I planned, be that a good thing or not.
Take a long time to be satisfied with your work? I'm a perfectionist. You know, the clinically insane kind. Yeah
Wear clothes that are too big for you? None of my clothes actually fit me. If they are comfortable...
Own more than 10 pens? Probably, I've never bothered to actually count. Easily, I am a total stationery fanatic.
Wear make-up every day? No. Yes, I work! Why look bad when you can look better?
Get angry often? I get indecently angry about once a month. Otherwise, I'm annoyed consistently. No, it actually takes a lot to make me really angry.
Wasn't that fun!

Vote For Pearl Kellie

Help this gorgeous girl win Miss Bikini Phillipines by going to http://getzmo.com/?option=com_content&task=view&id=1967 and voting for her.

Happy Birthday To Mary Jane

You see I purposely made this post late because I wanted it to be good by American time. Ok I didn't.

Anyway happy birthday and best wishes to you Mary Jane! What was being 16 like for everybody? Nothing really changes legally, does it?

And congrats on moving to the states and what. Wish you the greatest.

Keeping Amanda's answers, cuz I like them.
Do you get along better with guys or girls?
Guys. They're so much less complicated. I agree with you!
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Of course Yes. I heard that someone likes me, and if it's true I want him to tell me!
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
No, I wouldn't mind in the slightest It doesn't bother me. And I am glad it doesn't bother Amanda either, because I smoke.
Last person you texted?
Fishy Jodi
Do you like shows like Forensic Files and Unsolved Mysteries?
If they're anything like NCIS, I'll adore them NCIS, good.
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
At night. Night.
List people you were/are best friends with?
Fishy
Akari
Lily
Ambie
Melinda?
I don't like to pick a "best friend". Different people are close to me at different times for different reasons. All the people I was close with are in Japan (Patty, Amanda, Mary Jane, Angelo, Lena, and Moofy) Patty and I were sort of like best friends when we were kids.
Name the best people who could cheer you up?
Fab
Fishy
Megz
Melinda
Rod. Peter (the other chef). My cousin Chook. Shane (waiter).
Have you been to New York City?
Not once. No.
Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
No clue mayte. Some loser and I shouldn't have.
Do you have any expensive jewelery?
Loads, and I never use them. Yes, but I am like Amanda in that I don't use it.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Manager from restaurant, about job interview Rod, he drives me to work.
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Probably. None I can think of atm. I can talk to all my friends of the opposite sex. That's why they are my friends.
Heard any really great quotes lately?
Oh yes- I practically live in Gee and BJA's Wikiquotes pages. Yes... I just can't think of any right now.
Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
Quite assuredly, yes. Mostly for the worse, too. Amanda has made a difference in my life, so there's one for her list. I probably have been a bad difference to a few...and a good difference to maybe one.
Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
Mitaka Shiritsu Dai-Go-sho.(URK!) No
Have/would you ever tattooed anyones name on you?
That's just not smart.
What if you want to forget them? Then you'd really be in a piss.
Band names are the only exception.
I already have MCR =) I don't think so.
What is the name of your siblings best friend?
I have 10 siblings, and I have no bloody clue. Not so sure anymore.
What's the most appealing thing about the opposite sex?
Their genetilia, doh.
Kidding.
The whole "dominant" thing, maybe?
Unlike women, men know what they want. Or at least they act like it.
Which year has been the best so far?
2005, maybe? 2006. 2008 is getting close
Ever found more than a dollar/pound in a random place?
Found 500 yen coin once. Once or twice.
Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Never. In hindsight, no. And I have never been in love either.
Last time you smiled!
Approximately three minutes ago. I have been smiling all day.
Last text message in your inbox?
None, it's a new phone. "I am out the front".--Rod
Whens your next road trip?
Who knows? ...Well let me know when you go, Amanda.
Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I'd probably weep my guts out. It would be beyond crying.
Where is your phone?
Right beside me. In my back pocket.
Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Probably not, it's a budgee. I don't have any pets now, but I had budgees when I was younger. The one that lived the longest lived nearly eight years.
When was your last bubble bath?
I haven't had a bath this year, as we have no tub. Maybe when I was 10.
Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Nope. I used to.
Where is your pet right now?
In its cage, sleeping. They are all dead in the ground in Japan. This is a hard subject for me.
What color phone do you have?
Very dark blue. Very dark red.
How many kids do you want to have?
None, preferably. None. But just suppose I wanted to have kids, then maybe 3 sons.
What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Bathrobe Trench coat and jeans and a scarf.
What color are your eyes?
Dark brown. Green
What are you doing tomorrow?
Worrying about job interview, finding proper resume, filling it out, JOB INTERVIEW Work
Do you know someone who likes you? Like I said earlier, I heard that someone does, but I don't know if it's true because he did tell me.
Yes. And it's very saddening cos I know I'll never like them back.
Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Chyes. It's always worse experiencing things firsthand.
Yes.
What color is your hair?
Dark brown/Blue/Blonde Black
What are things you hate losing?
A Loved One
Fights
Arguments
Important documents
My wallet
Friendship
Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
Haha... NO! No
Have you ever been in handcuffs?
Yes, but not for jail. Yes
If you could say anything to any one person what would it be?
My life is better than yours and I've finally acknowledged it.
I think I would say to the person I like that I like him. And to this one person who pissed me off that he pissed me off. And Amanda, I am liking my life right now.
It's your turn now.
...

Well Well

Lately I really couldn't have been bothered updating this blog. The work computer caught a virus and now only the Rod (head chef) and my sister Jodi (manager) are allowed to use it. There's my excuse. But right now I am at an Internet lounge And the man next to me is hot. I hope he isn't reading this.

So lately...

Been working. A lot.

I pierced my tongue like I said I was going to. I did it the day before yesterday, and I have a feeling I am never going to use my mouth for anything useful again. Ever.

And I guess that is it.

Well It's Hard To Do, Guys!

I guess you have guessed by now that I haven't quit somking and Shane is five cents richer. My moods were changing, I was actually really moody and snapping at everyone.

But then I DREAMT I had a smoke. It's been a while since I wanted something so much I dreamt about it.

But I am gonna.

QUITTING quitting

I feel so bad. I feel SO bad.
But that's OK, I am quitting smoking. Never mind nicotine patches. And not those nicorette chewing gums either. (Did you know it has been proven that overuse of those chewies causes cancer? A total disillusionment!)
So I said I was gonna quit smoking for lent. And Shane says, "HA! You will not be able to quit, ever, at the rate you are going." Excuse me sir? I said, "Are you saying I cannot quit smoking?" and he goes, "Yes, I could be saying that. In fact, here is five cents. If you can quit for the entire 40 days of lent, I will give you another five cents. If not, you give me ten cents. I am giving you 5 cents in advance because I know you won't do it, so I know I will see it again."
Well to all the people who said I can't: nahaha! And screw lent, nahaha. I will go without for 40 days now. And I can.

Rest In Peace Heath

Exactly how or why it happened, we won't really know. No matter. Rest in peace, Heath Ledger.

"If you just be safe about the choices you make, you don't grow." --Heath Ledger

Stalkers

I know I have said this before, but the world really has a problem with stalkers. And rude people.

So I was working in the kitchen and I had to get something from in the bar. Some young man saw me and decided that he would like to buy me a drink. But I went back to what I was doing. Well, that genius decided to follow me into the kitchen. I was so freaked out, being alone in the kitchen with a drunk man. He told me his name was Kevin, and when he reached out to shake my hand he nearly fell into my face.
I told him, "I am very sorry Kevin, but we don't allow customers in the kitchen. You will have to leave."
"I just want to buy you a drink," Kevin insisted.
"The drinks are in the bar. And I am working."
He grabbed me arm but he was so drunk that I just sort of pushed him away and out the door. He was gone, thank god, and I finished work.

Then at the end I had to go into the alleyway to throw out some garbage. By now it was past 10:00 and really dark. No matter. This is what you need to do every night. So I went. I heard a voice behind me and spun around. Oh great. Kevin again. I went through the back gate and started locking it from the inside so he couldn't come in. The bars were wide enough tho, that he could reach in and grab onto me, which is what he started to do. It was freaky man. Finally his cab came and he was waving! Like I was his friend!

Another day I was washing dishes, and some old man comes and winks at me and says, "Hey doll!" I don't think so!

And there's also the time the blading man in his forties faced the window, and pissed on the wall right in front of my eyes. Some people have NO shame.

The young man was smoking in his car when he suddenly stopped right outside the window. He kept looking real intently at me. Then he parked his car and stood outside just looking. Then he left. Retards annoy me. But at least this one came back to say, "I just want you to know I am not stalking you!" REALLY!!

This Is Major

Ok so this new waiter is working where I work. His name is Shane and when I met him he pretty much knocked the whhhind out of me. That is a friggin oath.

Just to tell you

It's a lot like the sun. So hot that you can't look too long, or it'll hurt.

Oh my god, he is good looking like woah my god. Sorry to be repetitive but it's true.

And as the story, goes, the chick meets the hot guy and next thing you know, he is charming too. But then he is cocky. And mean. Oh and oh no, he's flirting with every lady that walks in. But at least his muscles are niceBUT HE'S SO DUMB! Oh and did we mention RUDE???

Nope.

Shane is really NOT cocky, really not mean, so polite, and he is smart! In fact he is a bit of a dork. He goes to university and he is totally politically correct. There is something about everything I say that he finds mean, politically incorrect, somehow racist (I'M NOT THO), pointed or downright dirty. In fact he is so unperverted he's a bit scary. Is he male or is he alien?

So anyway, what do you think people?