All This Stuff

Soemone sent me this sheet full of very deep questions, which I had trouble answering because they freak me out because they do.

Something you say a lot that you tend to regret "Yes,", "No," and "No thank you."


The one thing you said that you regret the most "If it suits you"

And the least? "I'm not asking you to change"

Is there anyone outside your personal family that you actually love? A few

Have ever been in love? Not by my definition of the term, no. And if I do fall in love, I want it to be very special, so I try to use the term sparingly.

Have you ever had a broken heart? Of course.

Would you rather a broken heart or a broken wrist? Wrist.

Have you ever broken someone's heart? Oh he would tell you so, but he's lying, because he broke his own heart by becoming attracted to me when I tried to stop him.

What are you most afraid of? Being vulnerable, being rejected and not being there.

What do you want the most? Success. I should add here, before I sound callous and unfeeling, that my idea of success is having meaningful friendships and a job that pays enough to give me a comfortable lifestyle, but that I also enjoy and am good at.

Have ever loved someone so much that it made you cry? No

What's the best thing a man could do to make you happy? I don't know... it matters who the man is.

And the worst thing he could do? Snoop through my things or phone. It doesn't matter if it's my cousin, my dad, my brother, a boyfriend. It's wrong and I will never trust them again.

Would you dump someone if they went through your phone/emails? Absolutely

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do not.

Is there a "one" for everyone? No.

Is being in love overrated? I am not sure. I think a lot of poeple say that they are in love, when they really just have a crush, but that makes crushes overrate, not being in love. But then again, some people are not content until they are in love, or they feel like there life is not complete until they are in love with someone. In the case of being in love being used as a way of measuring success, then I would have to say that, yeah, it might be a bit overrated.

Is sex overrated? Now, sex is!

When you realize you love someone, do you tell them? Not usually. I have only loved one person in "that" way, and I never told him.

Are you in love with one of your friends? Yes and like I said I never told him, and to this day, I believe he does not know.

Do you want do find The One? I am not sure. Honestly, I am afraid that when I find him if I ever do, that I am going to throw caution into the wind and lose control over my emtions and be truly vulnerable. Maybe I don't

Postponement

Hi again Everyone,
The story will not start as soon as I expected. It will be boring and writing it is a headache.

1 The Grind

Jade had spent the Christmas holidays with her cousin Jenny and some of their friends. They went boating, swimming and soaked up the sun. New Year's Eve was a blast. They partied, smoked it up, drank too much, and slept off their hangovers.

She had hooked up in a yacht on the lakeside with one of the guys, Nick, who planned to join the army. There seemed to be a mutual understanding that it was what it was and they would never see eachother again. It was out of character for Jade, but then again, it was New Year, and she was not one to try to make something out of nothing.

On the way to her uncle and aunt's house, Jenny kept insisting that Jade tell her where she had gotten the hickey on her neck.

"It's the 2nd of January, I don't remember." she said lamely

"That's not an answer," Jenny persisted.

"It's a 2nd-of-January answer."

Jenny's Dad put on a mix of his favourite songs. Musically, his taste was not that bad--he liked Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and the Eagles, all the old school stuff. Secretly, Jade had always looked fondly upon previous generations, musically and otherwise. Of course, she wasn't there, but maybe that's what she found so appealing about it.

The world is just getting worse all the time, and no one seems to understand that. Like those ignorant people who say every day is getting better--are they naive, or are they just not willing to admit that things are alwas getting harder? Actually, it's also possible that they have found a secret that I don't know and every day really does improve their life.



People mostly knew Jade as a wild, hard-partying, angst-ridden teenager, but what only those close to her knew was that she thought a lot about everything. There were so many unanswered questions she had about life, such as "What am I on this earth to do?", "Can one person really change the world?" and "How come I don't look like Kate Moss?" Before the answer came to her regarding any of these questions, the car pulled up in her Aunt's driveway and came to a stop.

The country house smelled of barbecue and loud laughter could be heard coming from inside the house. It was Jenny's sister Adriana's 20th birthday and she had invited some friends over for a small-scale party.

"How are ya, gorgeous?" Adriana said, hugging Jade. "This is my boyfriend, Drew."

Drew was tall, heavy-set, pasty-skinned and and small, dark eyes and hair. He looked like a country thug.

Then there was Benny, Drew's best mate, and his girlfriend Jay. He was a chubby brown-haired guy and she was a tanned, blonde, blue-eyed knockout. They were a vulgar bunch after a few beers, and not surprisingly, Jade fit right in.

"I heard anal sex is really big in Japan," Jay remarked.

"Iwouldn't know," Jade replied. "Personally, I would never do it."

"Aw why not?" Drew said jokingly. "What good's a chick who won't take it up the backdoor?"

"Well, it's just not natural, it's a dirty practice."

"You can shower though!" Benny chimed in.

"But it's never clean enough. I mean, imagine you were doing your function and it crawled back up, you know? It can't feel good!"

The guys laughed boistrously, but the girls didn't.

There was a pause in the conversation, and Jade's grandmother aproached and said, "Jade, how are you, beautiful girl?"

"I'm good, Nonna, thank you,"

"Come on bella, have something to eat before it gets cold. Come on children." She said to the group as she turned to leave.

Drew shook his head and said, "Just how is it that you can be so wild while your grandmother thinks your some kind of a saint?"

"I never thought about it," Jade replied.

*****

Jade and her cousins had had a pleasant time together, but now it was time to go back to work, back to the city. Jenny and Adriana's oldest brother Christopher generously offered to drive her to the station.

A two-hour train ride and one's night's sleep away, and it would be back to the grind.

Thanks Guys

Hi everyone,

First of all I would like make some excuses for not posting.

I was out of a job and had to look for another (Job found. Job sucks.) It was a hard choice between sticking it out and ending up sleeping in the street, but since adulthood is about doing the things we know we have to (and is thus the reason I don't want to grow up), I believe I have made the right choice. I am also currently looking for a job I enjoy more.

And there is another reason that I am not ready to make public just yet. (But I may tell some of you girls privately).

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone who did give an opinion about the story, and would like to announce that it will be really boring, but I decided to go ahead with it, since I am guessing some of you may not have much better to do with your time. (I'm joking.) The first posting will be on Sunday, which means I have to think of something better to call it. (I am thinking about going with "Untitled")

And as Patty requested, it will be twice weekly, provided I never end up with two broken hands or a good excuse.