Dear Patter.

I know it isn't your birthday yet, dear Patter, but I want everyone to see this when they get on tomorrow.
Happy 17 th birthday. Everyone always says, "I wish you a really really wonderful year... better than last year" etc., and that's all good and well, and I wish you that too. (You know, lots fun, travel, sex, parties, experiences, ...what do you want anyway???)
But what I wanted to say more than any of that...um, stuff...was that I am very thankful to have known you since I was 4. Thanks for being one of the best childhood friends I ever had. Cooking up nasty nasty shcemes with you was always a sheer pleasure.
Now that I think of it, we were just plain nasty children. But anyway, it's been great great GREAT to know you. (Doesn't eveyone love Patter?) I never dreamed that I would weird out the way I did, much less think you would be the way you are. But in any case, I love you, and I am so happy and proud to know you.
People who know Patty, I am sure you know exactly what I mean when I say Patty is fun, cool and has a nice nice body. Happy birthday Patter. I love you.
--Mariea.